i want to write something, my head doesn’t want to but i must because i need to. i don’t know how i’m feeling specifically, i guess the other morning as i was walking to the train station a thought came to me that said “when you’re happy, you’re really happy; when you’re sad, you’re really sad”. It may not sound like much but i think that really describes my emotional mindset. It’s all or nothing for me, when i’m happy, it’s like the sun shines right out of my soul and when i’m sad or lonely, or hurting it honestly feels like death. Maybe having such intense emotions isn’t such a bad thing. I know for sure when i love, i love with all my heart. When i find something i’m interested i put everything i’ve got into it. so maybe, maybe it’s not so bad.
most of the time i feel like my thoughts are just jumbled into one. lately i’ve been trying to find my “thing”. Like what is it that defines me? I really don’t know. I would love to find out.
I also realised that i think about God alot. I really like God, and if people knew how incredibly lost i was before i fully understood Him, I think they’d like Him a whole lot too.